A slot machine is a lot like a pig

When I was growing up and playing in the dirt lots of Bakerfield, California, I never thought I would end up in Vegas writing about pigs. And who would think that pigs are a lot like slot machines? Let me tell you they are practically one and the same. Pigs eat food from anywhere. A slot machine will eat anyone's money. Pigs are sick and dirty. So are slot machines... your hands are all black and disgusting. Pigs congregate in huge herds and just sit there, stupid making noises that don't make sense. I rest my case. Oh,,, and I feed both mindlessly