The Angry Boy of Las Vegas and Bakersfield

The one and only pig farm of Las Vegas

2005-08-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

This is so fucking right. And if you don't like it, I have more bacon for you. Read this about where I work: "This odor is an acrid, sweet smell that catches in your throat like a poorly chewed piece of bacon." Yes, that's where I work at the one and only pig farm in Las Vegas. You don't like it? Go grease yourself.

And if that isn't enough for a hard time, try extracting methane gas from pig manure. I see these guys try to do this all the time with their fancy machinery.

All I care about is after hours. I get cleaned up. I go out to the Strip, and then I hit the dives. I go listen to the blues a lot lately... Reminds me of wandering around the pig farm and feeling like shit and then seeing pigs lay in it. Goddam I'm glad I ain't in Bakersfield.

I gotta go gorge at the Peppermill and think about pigs

2005-08-04T03:30:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about quitting the university and just doing music promotions full time. One of my jerk buddies is way into it and he rapes Las Vegas bands for tons of cash. All those stupid little moron teeny bopper fans shell out their parents easy-earned casino-made cash for tickets with nothing better to do in the desert but wish they were kickstarting another Killers band. WHat a bunch of assholes those guys are. Over in North Las Vegas--that's a piss poor landscape if I ever saw one. Full of a pig farm. Right where I work. Shit, The Killers were a bunch of fat pigs wallowing in the cesspool of Vegas Venues. But there's money to be made and I'm going to go eat some pancakes at the Peppermill and think about all this shit... Maybe Penn and Teller will show up and we can gorge together...

The University of Las Vegas Slot Machines

2005-05-07T18:07:00.000-07:00

Forget the University of Nevada Las Vegas, I'm joining a new university. Forget becoming a methane-farmer, forget pigs, and especially forget Bakersfield and Bakersfield Blogs. I'm joining a new university of gambling where I can learn about spinning sevens, animated coins, handles that don't mean anything because you can press buttons, and cocktail waitresses you love me. There's an entire education to be had and I admit I have been investing in it might heavily. My buddy, he's a literary poet dude who hangs out at Starbucks. He said, "To be a slot machine addict is to know one's fingertips and stygmatism." I'm not sure what he meant. Maybe his fingers get dirty and his eyes go crossed...

Welcome to the university. My degree? In another 12 years...

A slot machine is a lot like a pig

2005-05-05T02:37:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up and playing in the dirt lots of Bakerfield, California, I never thought I would end up in Vegas writing about pigs. And who would think that pigs are a lot like slot machines? Let me tell you they are practically one and the same. Pigs eat food from anywhere. A slot machine will eat anyone's money. Pigs are sick and dirty. So are slot machines... your hands are all black and disgusting. Pigs congregate in huge herds and just sit there, stupid making noises that don't make sense. I rest my case. Oh,,, and I feed both mindlessly

Methane, Piggeries, Bakersfield and my gas

2005-05-01T22:36:00.000-07:00

Just so all you people who know I hate everything are convinced that I know a bit about pigs and methane here's a few tidbits to get you off my ass until at least I see you all in class next week.

Did you know they use a thing called a pig to clear pipelines of shit and inert gases? It's kind of like sticking a rubber ball into a tube. Same idea anyway. See-There's so much to learn from gastric livestock it's just crazy.

a great statement from an online resource that is so true about pigs here in Vegas:

But after all pigs don't fly - as US would like us all to remember, they emit a lot of methane. (But as the G-77 would point out, nowhere as much as from a US intensive corn-fed piggery.)

I'm thinking this idiot would never have been killed if it weren't for pigs. He burned alive. He was probably from Bakersfield.

My favorite slot machine

2005-05-01T22:29:00.000-07:00

I used to have a favorite slot machine down at the 7-11 near Lamb and Washington. Now I actually like the slot machines downtown at Binions. I go there until 3am and keep praying for a sign from the slot gods to grant me one of my three best wishes:

1. a million dollars
2. death to all pigs
3. instant college degree in a can

None of these have happened to me yet. In the meantime I keep getting my free drinks, try to slap the cocktail waitress in the behind (I always freakin' miss) and I keep dumping all my college education fund into the the Las Vegas sewers, I mean slots. What the hell, you only live once.

I met that Bakersfield writer asshole, so what?

2005-05-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

Yeah I met that Bakersfield writer when he came to Las Vegas. He wasn't all that bad. He's an assholse that's for sure, but he isn't a horrible pig shit. You know that reminds me that school is almost out and I'm going to go to the casino with my last paycheck and play slots until my eyes bleed. I later heard that a friend of the writer asshole lost 1.7 million dollars because she didn't put enough damn dollars in the slot machine when the three falming sevens came up. heh. what a dumb ass, sounds like some dumb shit I would do. I think I dream better because there's still a methane reside on me from work. I hate pig shit. I'm going to have a book burning. want to join me?

The Writer Asshole is Coming to Vegas

2005-03-11T21:37:00.000-08:00

That writer asshole is coming to Vegas and I told him I would meet for drinks at the Peppermill. Why the hell not? I don't mind and he knows Hollywood Blog. Just wish old Hollywood would get his butt back to town and hang with the bros! Did you fucking see that movie Million DOllar Baby>? Whay royally false piece of pig shit. Now I see pen after pen of ms. piggy shit faces wallowing in feces and this movie was just as dismal. Do you know what I mean>? Hey, it's Friday night. I'm of for the Double Down in a minute. My frends from the collective are heading out for some drinking and bands. I'll tell you about the writer dude tomorrow after I talk to his sorry ass.

On my way to the pig farm I threw my statistics book out the window

2005-03-07T20:09:00.000-08:00

If you want to know what it's like to drive to a pig farm every day. Just stick your head in the toilet, flush it three times, and then go run around the god dam neighborhood. Ok, so it isn't that bad, but the anticipation of not wanting to go where I'm going really can break you. You get a pit in your stomach. You get anxious about your boss. Your rubber boots in the trunk stink to high heaven. You wonder why you didn't get laid the night before by the hot chicks at the club, but revel in the great conversation you had with the Hollywood people because you know them all and they know you. That's good shit. To know people I mean. Hollywood Bakersfield Blog dude is the coolest. He breezed through town last year and eeven stay ed at my place a few days. No, I'm not fucking gay. This cat wanted to get to know his character and we had the connections to the people, to the tunnels, and to the fucking pigs... it's that simple. So on my way to work I threw my statistics book out the window. I was pissed at my teacher for being a lousy foreigner who can't communicate. I figure I will learn more from my buddies in the class whose notes I steal anyway...

Cruising down Fremont Street: shooting movies

2005-03-05T13:22:00.000-08:00

I was watching a film being shot on Fremont Street the other night and started tailing a limcoln with a camera mounted on its hood. I think I was really pissing them off because the driver kept flipping me the bird. What do you do? I didn't have road rage. Me and my buddy, JT were cracking up. Who cares. Anyway, there's nothing much to say other than I have the weekend off and I'm going to find some trouble down at the Flamingo. I've been reading the bakersfield hollywood blog and I'm not giveing andyhting away. I told him that after he came here all secrets are safe or he can come down to the pg farm and shove my face in it. I still want to be in his next film. I knw lots of people who are extras. It's my turn!!

Fuck Bakersfield, fucking shitty pig shit goddam it

2005-03-02T22:22:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah, fuck Bakersfield. Actually I am a pretty cool dude. I party on, and that's all good. I won't hurt you if you come and read this shit. I might give you a hard time. gotta go drink...

throw your slimy pig guts at your mother.

No fucking way, I'm a celebrity pig fuck

2005-03-02T22:13:00.000-08:00

So this writer shithead asked me to be on his dumb Bako blog crap. I told him I don't give a fuck, that I'll never go to his fucking site. Whatever. I'm angry. I escaped Bakersfield for this? I have my buddies and we party on, but life is... fucked. I talk about pigs because I'm so pissed off about my job and going to school that I feel like my life is forever trapped in pig shit. And there's all these fucking issues too. Like, All these housing projects moved closer to the pig farm and now there is this total war going on because out-of-towners are so stupid. Jesus, you move next to a pig farm you're going to smell pig shit, what the fuck?? Why complain? ARE YOU PEOPLE GOING TO GO OUT AND CORK EVERY GODDAM PIG ASS?? CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT. ok, I am off to drink at BW3.

try the Jerry's Nugget Ham

2005-03-02T20:57:00.000-08:00

I'm fucking serious. They slap a whole pig on your plate and there's barely enough room for your eggs and hash browns. I was there this morning before I went to work. I sometimes binge on pig since i get so pissed off that I deal with their shit all day. Might as well eat some of their carcasses to make myself feel better. I did see my bos fall into a pen. shitted himself it looked like. hahaha. if anyone deserved it, he did

Slimy pig shit

2005-03-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

I never knew how disgstg pigs were until I started working on a pug farm. They're alll big fat noisy monsters. They shit all over themselves. They shit all over each other. They shit in their food. They shit on their babies. They would shit on their best friend. Do you have any idea how much shit it takes to mess like that? and it all gets caught up in the air. They need to make a fucking pig shit casino. All those nasty Vegas locals like my dad and and buddies can all go their and roll around and play the nickel slots and drink whiskey. They would probably love it. I'm buying a house soon. I can't stand it where I live. I swear the pig shit is following me.

Pissy pig smiles and bosses hot air.

2005-02-28T18:11:00.000-08:00

I listen to chris rock. I don't go watch those awards. I had to work this morning and I am really mad about this whole thing where you have to watch pigs shit and then spread it around and act like you love your job. Jobs are pig shit. I told my supervisor"you're some stupid methane head. You're going to explode with gas and I'm going to laugh because all that hot air you've been spouting to me is just pig shit gas." I think I saw 800 pigs smile at me today.

getting ready to go pig it

2005-02-26T00:31:00.000-08:00

I'm going out in a few minutes. I saw some phat pigs today at the factory. They were like the most stylin' pigs ever. We wheelbarrowed them around for a while when the supervisor wasn't llooking. They squeal, heh. We like to have fun. You smell it all and it's freaky disgusting with pig shit everywhere. All I could think about was hanging out tonight. I like to go to the old Strip, but sometimes I think I still smell like pig nuts before I go out. It's a horrible feeling. How'd you like it if you had to slaughter a pig? Every waking moment you're thinking you smell like it.. Ok, I have to meet Jake and DVT out.

Yes, I work on a pig farm, what's up?

2005-02-25T16:02:00.000-08:00

I do work on a pig farm in Las Vegas. It's the craziest, smelliest place ever. Do you know what it's like smelling pig dung all the time. It's like methane. You're totally in it, man. It's crazy shit. What can you do but go home and feel like a pig.

This is the day that the pig has made...

2005-02-25T15:58:00.000-08:00

I'm just starting this thing. What do I do?

This thing is super fucking dumb

2005-01-19T22:20:00.000-08:00

I swaer I will star writing but I don't fuck know what to sa y

this thing is dumb.

2005-01-16T22:10:00.000-08:00

I don't know what to write about. Pigs in space?